It is true, I admit it, I really am a failure, I have tried time and time again but still I can not achieve the desired goal. Now I am not talking about my weight though that could be exactly true as well......no I have failed once again at trying to make myself so sick on chocolate that I never want to eat it again!!! I know it works with other things like green prawns ( haven't touched once since I was a child), liver and onions ( same deal), Mums zucchini pies and I am sure there are others but for the life of me it will not work with chocolate.
Christmas as such doesn't hold any huge dilemmas over being so good as to not each too much of the Christmas fare as I really don't like most of it, so I don't eat it ( I actually don't like green prawns or liver either), but I don't like seafood, ham, pork, turkey is OK but I don't like christmas cake or plum pudding, or rum balls or mince tarts.....I can even give shortbread a miss. Perhaps that is why people feel sorry for me and give me chocolate for Christmas!!!!! Note Kerryanne and Kris, please send chocolate whenever you wish, I am not saying I don't want any, I just need to space it out a little. Now there is nothing edible in the fridge at all ( for me) at the moment besides boxes of chocolate, now I am a bit of a chocolate snob ( I had to be I had to draw the line somewhere) but I was only pretending, no chocolate is safe in my midst! I have sort of got to the ...don't really like 'Shells' or 'Ferriro, gold things in little cases, you know the ones, I can't spell tonight', or bite size almond mars bars as i did overdose on those at some stage and it does work...a little, even now I am tempted to try then just in case I like them again...nope, but I will try another just in case.
Each morning I wake up with renewed enthusiasm for a healthy living day but then my feet touch the floor ( sometimes I have to look to make sure they really are touching the floor), stumble, hobble out to the kitchen, put the kettle on and decide that I really can't be bothered. Being sick with this horrible throat now onto chest infection thing doesn't help, though not being able to swallow wasn't all that bad, no chocolate was any good then. So I will have breakfast and then 3 hours later look into the fridge...now I can normally hold out at this stage, I have some will power but perhaps another couple of hours later when I really should have had a proper lunch and MS fatigue is kicking me in the butt, chocolate starts singing its old sweet song and NO chocolate is safe, backwards and forwards I will go until evening...sometimes.
I keep thinking one day I will put the chocolate into my mouth and hate the taste of it, like I do with licorice ( gosh that stuff is awful), if only I could spit it out the way I can when a sneaky licorice bullet sneaks into that chocolate, tv mix thingy ( I mean that is just rude, it might slow me down but it doesn't stop me!.
In the ideal world I should just have a proper lunch with a yoghurt and then go and have a nanna nap and truly there isn't any real reason I can't do that, I just don't! My current drama ( yes I always have more than one and I mean other than the chocolate) is that my creative streak has up and left and I have no idea where to find it. I have looked in the bits and pieces of half started projects but no it just isn't there and I am starting to get a little concerned ( so I have some chocolate) what happens if it never comes back??? What is a girl to do? Again, some decent sleep, cooler weather and a healthier and more regular diet would probably help....but I just can't ( not while there is chocolate still in the fridge).
Oh well, I am busy visiting lots of bloggy friends for inspiration and have been to the library for a new batch of books and oh my goodness have even agreed in fact organised to go camping for a few days. OK I don't camp generally, I like to be under the stars but as long as there are five of them but this camping is in our caravan which is pretty well set up, at the beach well two streets away from the beach, but the park has a pool and mini golf and tennis and you know kids stuff and I sort of like the idea...lets see what happens. Of course I could not go without internet access so I have a new friend, Mr Laptop who is meant to help make hospital visits and I can't walk days seem more bearable but he will need to go on a little outing. Of course I may only be going for a few hours and will crush childrens holiday dreams when Daddy has to go back to work so they have to come home too, but then again maybe not...I might be wonderful by then!
I might just have one last look for creativity before I go to bed and I am not repeat not going near the fridge!!! I shall keep you updated...Until then TTFN Kiss Noises Linda Lilly Cottage